Your boss saddled you with a mind-numbing project, you forgot to pay your credit card bill and you can’t squeeze into your favorite skinny jeans. That’s a lot to think about. So it’s no surprise that when you climb into bed and your guy wants to have sex, it’s all you can think about.

“Women’s distractibility is more likely to be associated with the estrogen system and basic differences in male and female brain architecture,” explains Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. “The female brain has more long distance connections, so they take in more data from more regions of the brain at once, which can lead to being distracted.”

It goes back to pre-historic times (doesn’t it always?), when people needed to stay slightly distracted while they had sex in case a predator was lurking. “So one of the two partners had to be more vigilant of the surroundings,” notes Fisher. “This was most likely women. Women also needed to be more conscious of the whereabouts of their children, so women seem to be, by nature, more distractible than men.”

But there’s a big payoff to staying in the moment: Women who are able to do so report higher levels of arousal and sexual satisfaction—and who wouldn’t want that?

Read Six Habits for Busy Would-Be Exercisers

Follow these five tips to staying connected (and satisfied) during sex.

1. Address distractions—and then move on.

Your guy is doing that thing with his hips that usually sends you soaring, but then you suddenly remember that you didn’t send that important email on Friday and the client’s going to be pissed. Your orgasm? M.I.A. It’s a common scenario.

Research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that people frequently had non-erotic thoughts during sex. So how can you shut them out? It sounds counterintuitive, but when an intrusive thought pops up during sex, the best way to banish it is to address the thought head on, according to sex researcher Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., a professor of history and philosophy of science at Indiana University. If you suddenly remember that you didn’t do X, Y and Z, acknowledge it, then mentally store it on a “not now” list to be picked up after sex, suggests Lloyd. That way, you’re not suppressing it—you’re just putting it aside to be dealt with later.

2. Don’t switch positions.

There’s a time and a place for acrobatic sex, but in order to stay present during sex—a key component to orgasm for women—if something feels good, just keep at it, suggests Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered—For Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex.

Instead of abruptly switching positions, which can squash your sexual momentum, stick to steady, rhythmic stokes. “It’s unclear why, but continuous movement may help women ignore outside distractions and focus on sensation,” explains Herbenick. You’ll train your brain and body to melt into a pleasurable trance, which will help you maintain the sexy moment.

More sexy tips up next!

Date night doesn’t have to stop just because you’ve been an item for a while… or even because you’re married!

After their first year of marriage, photographer Jamie Beck and her husband, Kevin Burg, realized how important it is to keep dating your partner. Accordingly, they’ve been making an effort to keep growing, learning, and discovering together—in short, staying very much in love.

Our buddies at HowAboutWe don’t just connect singles together for awesome dates; they can also help couples brainstorm and plan amazing date ideas, too. Jamie and Kevin have been using HowAboutWe Concierge and their fabulous planning experts to book special, one-of-a-kind dates; Jamie has been chronicling their experiences on  her blog, Ann Street Studio (named for their photography studio in New York City).

Since Jamie and Kevin just bought their first car, they decided that they wanted to try going on a date that would take them outside the city. So they headed off to the Hudson River Valley to become aeronauts for the day—and the photos from their hot air balloon adventure are gorgeous!

Read 5 Dates That Will Make Your Fall a Little Sweeter

Writes Jamie, “I was so amazed at the landscape from this angle. No smudgy airplane window to try to shoot from, totally clear horizon, the feel of the morning sun on my face and the heat from the flames keeping us warm on this brisk autumn morning. We could look at life from a new perspective.”

LOVE. I’m not wild about heights (something I never remember until I’m already way up in the air), but these pics are enough to make me want to spirit my SO away for a sky-high adventure of our own.

Take a look at more of Jamie’s incredible photos from their excursion—and get some details on what else they did with their day—here. While you’re at it, you can sign up for HowAboutWe for Couples at their website.

Happy dating!

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s senior editor.

Photo Source

With fall in full swing, most of us will be entertaining at home in the next few months. Whether it’s takeout and football or a homemade Thanksgiving feast for twelve, one thing remains the same:

The party always ends up in the kitchen.

Regardless of your home or your lifestyle, the kitchen is usually the hangout spot of choice when you have company. We’re also spending more time at home and everybody seems to be a foodie (or at least a wannabe) of sorts. This is probably why we’re seeing a soaring amount of really cool kitchen electronics in the marketplace. They’re modern, slick and fun. From the must-have daily dose of coffee to more frivolous inventions (pizzellle maker, anyone?), they’re enough to make us stop and take note. Entertaining at home is definitely more fabulous than ever. Here are some crowd pleasers that are likely to raise your own fab hostess street cred!

To many women, the idea of having phone sex sounds about as comfortable as faking an orgasm over dinner. But for couples in long-distance relationships, phone sex is often the only way to keep a sexual element in the relationship while the two of you are apart. Sandi, a 27-year-old whose boyfriend lives across the world says, “In our months apart, our relationship feels strange because it becomes completely asexual.” If your man is far away, or even if you live with him, phone sex is a hot way to spice things up. Here’s how to haaaave… ahh… ahh… oh-baby-I-want-you-so-bad! phone sex.

Testing the waters: Quite simply, phone sex is two people talking dirty on the phone while simultaneously masturbating and pretending they’re having sex with each other. Bottom line: It takes two to tango. But it’s best not to jump into initiating phone sex without testing the waters first. Start by sending him a dirty text and see how he responds. If he writes something sexy back, you’ve got the green light. If he doesn’t respond, or asks if your phone was stolen, you probably have to talk with him about it first.

Read Sexting Dos and Don’ts

Getting started: If this is something new in your relationship, take your time finding your comfort zone. “Work up to phone sex,” says 25-year-old Nancy, a long distance relationship-er/phone sex aficionado. “Start out by exchanging sexy text messages.” With sex texting you have time to think about your response, and see what things feel the most natural for you to say. It’s also much easier to text “I want u to lick me” than it is to say that over the phone. With that in mind, having phone sex means you’re going to have to feel comfortable talking dirty, saying words like “cock,” “pussy” and “tits.” If necessary, spend some time saying those words out loud until they feel like a natural part of your vocabulary. And if you really can’t stomach them, then just use vague statements along the lines of “Stick it in me.” After all, he should know what “it” is as well as where “it” is going. Another option: using body part nicknames that are familiar to both you and your partner.

So you’ve got a wedding to go to. Fun! But what to do about a gift? Think long-term. What are they still going to find useful, 10, 20 years down the road? Some things, like crystal or certain china patterns, never go out of style.  A singing fish is only funny once. Follow these suggestions, and you’ll find yourself in wedding gift heaven.

1. A vacuum: expensive and always useful, this is a gift that some couples might not be able to afford, but will need forever. A Swiffer just isn’t the same.

2. Organizing materials, like wine racks and under-the-counter storage: most newlyweds are starved for space, so helping them keep organized is always a thoughtful gift.

Read C Is for Cookie: Cookie Monster’s Best Relationship Advice

3. High-end knives: poor quality knives can become dull over time, between using them and putting them in the dishwasher. A really great set of knives is useful for years to come!

4. Bedding: you don’t want to go rogue and pic out something you think is pretty, because it might not match their style, but if they selected a set and put it on their registry, go ahead. You want them to be comfy, don’t you?

5. Towels: especially nice guest towels that they can trot out when the in-laws come calling.

Read the rest over at YourTango! 

This post originally appeared on YourTango.com: Top 10 Most Useful Wedding Gifts.

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20 Celebrity Inspired Wedding Makeup Looks

How To Throw A Sexy Bridal Lingerie Party!

101 Wedding Hairstyles For Every Hair Type

Photo Source

Who doesn’t want shiny, sexy, young-looking hair? While we struggle with conditioners, glosses, salon treatments and flat irons to get our hair looking red carpet fabulous every day, there’s a more organic approach to gorgeous hair that we often forget: diet! The foods we eat can greatly affect how shiny, bouncy and thick our hair appears.

Lock & Mane reached out to Dr. Michael Lorin Reed, a New York dermatologist and renowned expert in women’s hair health and disorders, for tips on super foods for healthy locks. He tells us that “a well balanced diet rich in B vitamins, iron, sulfur, and zinc is essential for optimal hair growth and appearance.”

Read Best Beachy, Sexy Hair at Miami Swim Fashion Week

But Dr. Reed explains that the nutrients in some foods can actually compete with others, inhibiting the absorption of another valuable nutrient for hair.

We compiled a list of hair-healthy super foods across the board:

The hands-down winner is….

1. Red Meat: Dr. Reed tells us that a diet that includes red meat (in moderation) provides zinc, vitamins B1 and B12, iron and sulfur which are all desirable nutritional elements for hair health, optimizing the hair cuticle to promote shine.

2. Poultry/Fish: If red meat isn’t your thing, other meat proteins (poultry, fish) will do the trick by providing essential iron. Halibut is a particularly nutrient-rich fish, for example, providing high levels of biotin (vitamin B7) which promotes hair strength and prevents breakage!

Fun protein fact: Egg whites alone (without the yolk) are not good for hair! A component of egg white (avidin) inhibits absorption of biotin in the intestine. Biotin is a major co-factor in enzyme reactions necessary for hair growth! Consider that next time you’re ordering an egg-white omelette at brunch!

I know men. I date them. I am one. I stare at them when they’re at work on high-rise construction sites. So, who better to tell you what goes on inside the male mind on a first date? And I’m gonna tell it to you straight. Well, as straight as I can.

First dates are tricky for all of us. (Full disclosure: I recently went on an outing with a guy with zero conversation skills, only to later find out he was deaf and that I mumble too much to allow for proper lip reading.) Still, there are a few things all types of men agree on, straight, gay and mumblers alike:

1. Don’t be phone-y.
Prior to the actual date, keep communications with your new potential soul mate to a minimum. This may seem counter-intuitive, since we’re all eager to size up the interests of our new crush (I took the deaf guy to a jazz concert – ooops!) and are dying to figure out if this is the man who will make us breakfast in bed for the rest of our lives. But too many phone calls or emails too early on can read as desperate or clingy, and may leave you with nothing to talk about when you two do finally meet. Instead, settle the logistics of the date in a fun-yet-efficient manner and go about your very busy life, safe in the knowledge that you’re saving all the best parts of yourself (and your life) till you’re actually face-to-face.

Read You Know You’re on a Bad First Date When…

2. Tight isn’t always right.
Time for a little tough love from a guy who still tries to squeeze into the jeans he bought before his latest four-month romance with Haagen Dazs. Ladies, it’s OK to be who you are on a date and wear clothes that fit. Be comfortable! As dumb as guys sometimes act, they can sense when you’re trying too hard or aren’t comfortable with yourself. That’s just not sexy – and a way bigger turn-off than even the blandest of pantsuits. Here’s a rule to live by: If 20 minutes after putting a garment in the hamper you can still see the imprint it left behind, it’s not appropriate first-date attire!

Halloween is almost a month away! Not going all-out with your costume this year? Don’t worry—you can still celebrate with some festive nail art. To give you a little inspiration, we’ve rounded up 13 fabulous Halloween manis from around the web. We don’t know about you, Bettys, but we’re DYING (see what we did there?) to try them out!

In honor of today’s spooky holiday, we’re digging through the vaults and pulling this oldie-but-goodie out of the archives. There’s no time like Halloween for a good ghost story or two!

We caught a lot of panels while we were at New York Comic Con this past weekend, but one of our favorites was called “Celebrity Ghost Stories: Fact, Fiction and Previously Untold Tales in Paranormal Pop Culture.” Celebrities? Ghosts? We’re in! Given by journalist/NYU professor/all-round “ghost guy” Aaron Sagers, this talk made our skin crawl with all sorts of real-life ghostly encounters– had by celebs! Did you know that Matthew McConaughey lived in a haunted house? Or that Taylor Momsen once went ghost hunting? Because they did—and they lived to tell the tale. Want to know more? Come on. Join us around the campfire. Because we’ve got some spooky stories to tell you!

1. Jenna Bush

While her dad, George W., was president, Jenna Bush swears she ran into one (or more!) of the allegedly numerous White House ghosts. Her bedroom, you see, was graced with a fireplace—which she claimed has a tendency to play 1920s-era music. One night after hearing such music emanating from the fireplace, Jenna ran into her sister’s room. Her sister, of course, didn’t believe her—until the next night, when she stayed in Jenna’s room with her. Seeing may be believing, but hearing might be, too.

2. Anna Nicole Smith

Anna Nicole Smith didn’t just encounter a ghost—she had sex with one. Regularly. The first time that it happened, she thought that it was her boyfriend; however, she soon figured out that this wasn’t the case. She was pretty okay with it, though—she said the sex was great!

3. Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson revealed during the filming of Skeleton Key that she’s had her fair share of ghostly encounters. She’s seen a ghost with no face—a commonly ghostly archetype—more times than she can count, and once, the spirit of her grandmother visited her. At least granny’s still looking out for her from beyond the grave!

4. Nicholas Cage

Nic Cage also has a whole bunch of ghost stories in his arsenal. His favorite, though, involves a time that he was staying at Francis Ford Coppola’s house in Napa Valley. Nic was staying in the attic when late one night, a woman with big hair appeared. At first, he thought it was his aunt. But when she approached him… well, let’s just say that he found out quite quickly that it was NOT his aunt. He doesn’t know who it was, but she scared the bejeesus out of him.

5. Matthew McConaughey

In 2003, everyone’s favorite shirtless wonder was living in a haunted house. The first time he encountered his ghost, he freaked out: He kept hearing noises that sounded like a dime getting dropped about ten feet (have you ever heard a dime get dropped ten feet? It’s loud. Seriously.) He leapt out of bed—buck naked, of course—grabbed a baseball bat, and started running around the house like a mad man. He’s since made his peace with his ghost, though; he calls her Madame Blue, and he says that they get along quite well. He suspects his constant nudity has something to do with it.

 6. Keanu Reeves

Keanu’s tale doesn’t really have a resolution, but it’s a creepy image all the same. When he was five, he and his sister encountered a ghost in the house they were living in. The ghost wore a white double-breasted suit—except that he had no legs. Spooky.

More celebrity ghost stories, including Taylor Momsen and Alyson Hannigan, up next!

Wowzers, Bettys—can you believe that Halloween is this month? In case you’re lost for what to be, we’ve got three fab beauty tutorials to help. These how-tos from our friends at INGLOT Cosmetics will have you all dolled up as Cleopatra, a Dia de Muertos sugar skull, or the Wicked Witch of the West in no time flat—with a glam twist, of course!

All the products mentioned here can be found at inglotcosmetics.com. Read on for all the deets!

Love a vodka cocktail during the holidays, but don’t want to get stuck in the “cranberry bog?” Check out this new yummy Thanksgiving Day cocktail created by New York City’s The Fat Radish mixologist, Demetrio Saites. The drink is made with Kanon Vodka, an organic (it’s good for you!) vodka.

Tipsy Turkey

1 Part Kanon Vodka

1 Part bourbon

3/4 Part Maple Syrup

3/4 Part Lemon Juice

4 Cubes Roasted Pumpkin

(roast at 350 for 35 minutes)

Muddle pumpkin with maple syrup, add all other ingredients and shake vigorously. Strain (double strain with sieve, if possible) onto fresh ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a pinch of cinnamon.

Read 6 Yummy, No Fuss Thanksgiving Recipes

To learn more about Kanon Vodka and get more recipes, please visit their site.

The past few years have turned out many surveys and studies linking social media to stress, depression or a general decline in happiness.

This isn’t so shocking if you think about it. Most Facebook feeds consist of overopinionated status updates sprinkled with unnerving news alerts, are innundated with cheesy, staged engagement photos, and topped off with prompts from an animal cruelty group to sign a petition to bust a kill shelter. It’s no wonder why it’s so hard to have a zen social media experience. But what can you do about it?

Some people think that deactivating your profile is the only ticket to social media nirvana. I disagree. I mean, would you throw away your television because it was making you gain weight? Maybe you would, but you’d be misdirecting your energy. TV isn’t causing weight gain, your food and exercise choices are. Spend less time with Netflix and hit the gym—leave the TV out of it.

Similarly, there are things you can do to adjust how you consume content on all social networks. The following seven tips can be applied in some way to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Google+ or Pinterest.

Read Can Science Really Help You Find the Perfect Partner?

1. Don’t stop at your newsfeed. When the newspaper is delivered to your door every morning, it doesn’t come with a gun to your head forcing you to read everything presented in front of you. The same goes with social content—you aren’t beholden to your home feed. Take control by going directly to trending topics when you sign in or searching for the day’s top headlines, then pick and choose what to read.

2. Unfollow and bookmark. If you’re passionate about a cause that gets you down or reminds you of a traumatic event, you can keep tabs on the topic without having them appear in your daily feed. (I have a friend who is extremely passionate about feeding the homeless, but found following certain charity groups on social media a little upsetting. If you’re prone to depression, this can ruin your day!) Unfollow the accounts and bookmark them in a folder marked “social” in your browser. Set a calendar reminder to check in on them once a week so you don’t miss out on any major events. You go to them instead of them coming to you.

3. Block your ex and throw away the key. While social media is great for making connections and cyberstalking can be harmless and fun, some breakups should stay broken. The www is big enough to never, ever have to see him or her ever again. Here’s how to block someone on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Hitting the road for Thanksgiving or the winter holidays this year? Whether you’re headed home to visit your family or to the Bahamas for a tropical vacation, you’ll need to get your packing under control, stat. But don’t worry—we’re here to do the heavy lifting so you don’t have to! From multi-tasking beauty picks to hot gadgets that will keep you connected while you’re on the road (or at sea, or in the air, or wherever), these seven travel essentials will make sure you’ve got everything you need without wasting valuable suitcase space. All aboard!

1. Remington Wet 2 Straight ceramic and titanium flat iron ($25.99, drugstore.com).  I reviewed this baby a while back, and since then, it’s become the one thing I absolutely MUST pack whenever I go anywhere. Who wants to juggle both a hair dryer and a flat iron? No one, that’s who. I’m still kind of astonished that a flat iron can dry your hair while straightening it—and without it frying it, to boot—but it totally works.

2. Twobirds convertible jersey gown ($270, shop.nordstrom.com). Don’t own a convertible dress? Get one in your wardrobe, stat. They can be worn in loads of different styles to fit any occasion, making them the perfect travel dress. This jersey version from twobirds packs well, but this chiffon version from Jenny Yoo is a good choice, too.

3. NARS ‘The Multiple’ multi-purpose stick ($39, beauty.com). Hoorah for multi-tasking beauty goodies! NARS’ lightweight, cream-to-powder miracle stick can be worn on eyes, lips, and cheeks for all-over, blendable color. By all means pack an eye shadow quad or something, too (may we suggest Boots No7’s eye shadow quads?)—but for every day wear, this little tube can’t be beat.

Read Beauty Road Test: Extend the Life of Your Blowout With Alterna’s Bamboo Style Cleanse Extend Dry Shampoo

4. Philosophy 3-in-1 shampoo, shower gel, and bubble bath ($16.50, shop.nordstrom.com). When you’re trying to save space in your luggage, multi-purpose beauty products are a godsend. Philosophy’s classic 3-in-1 works as shampoo, body wash, AND bubble bath, so you’re covered no matter which part of your body you need to clean. The cute recipes on each bottle and the delish scents are added bonuses; I’m fond of Cinnamon Buns, especially in the winter, but take your pick from everything from baked goods to fruity goodness.

5. Newtrent PowerPak external battery charger ($39.95, newtrent.com). I learned about this magical little device while I was running around New York Comic-Con in October, and believe you me, I really wished I’d had one then. Designed to work with iPhones, Android phones, and tablets of all kinds, it works as a portable power source—which means that if you get stuck at the airport with a rapidly failing battery and no power outlets in sight, you can easily whip it out, plug in your phone or tablet, and carry on. The best part? It can charge phones up to five times, so even if you’re stranded for hours on end, your electronic devices will never get totally drained.

6. Tieks by Gavrieli foldable flats ($265, tieks.com). Every gal needs a pair of foldable flats for those nights when your feet just can’t take being in heels any longer. These ones are a splurge, but unlike a lot of foldable flats, they actually have a cushioned instep; as a result, you don’t just feel like you’re walking around barefoot in them. I love the coppery look of the ‘Lovestruck’ pair, but you can choose your favorite from a whopping 50 colors and finishes.

7. Sonia Kashuk roll-up valet ($19.99, target.com). Gotta love Sonia Kashuk—between the gorgeous beauty goodies and the fabulous storage solutions, all at totally affordable price points, it’s one of our favorite brands here at BettyConfidential. The roll-up valet features four clear, zippered pockets that roll up into one handy little bundle, keeping all of your makeup and travel beauty supplies neat, organized, and easily stowed. Check out a full review of it here. Spoiler: Raves all round!

Thanksgiving is a high school reunion for relatives. Everyone gathers together to reflect on where they’ve been, how far they’ve come, and how much better or worse they’re doing than before.

It’s a Butterball of nerves, particularly when you factor in Thanksgiving other high-stakes ingredients: the doomsday traffic, the one crazy relative who shows up and does his/her crazy thing, the underlying family feuds, the love, the all-day drinking, the hunger–the extreme hunger!–for the perpetually “almost-ready” turkey, and those ghosts of holidays past. The result is a minefield of emotions and the reason family baggage has become such a cliché.

We’ve all got it, and we bring it to the table on Thanksgiving. All it takes is a seemingly innocuous question to snap that luggage right open and turn dinner into a Eugene O’Neill play. To bypass such family drama, avoid asking the following questions, or answering them.

1. Don’t ask: “What happened with that guy you brought last year?”

Unless you want to hear: “We were both in different places in our lives, and he’s ‘doing him’ right now…but I guess I do feel like it’s weird (voice-cracking) being back this year without him…I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying, I’m actually totally fine with things.” Please, distant relatives, do not interpret this reaction to mean she’s been wanting to share this news with you. It’s just that you’ve ripped the wound open again. Nice.

2. Along those lines, don’t ask: “So… when is the baby/ring coming?”

Unless you want to hear: “Ha! Who knows?” (And then, in a whisper directed at someone else] “Can we switch seats?”

Read The Story Behind the Most ‘Liked’ Photo of All Time

3. If you made the turkey, don’t ask: “How is the turkey?”

Unless you want to hear: “Great. Can you pass the gravy?” which will sound to you like “It’s dry! Everyone thinks it’s dry! This turkey’s too dry!” There, there now. After 2 sleepless nights, 3 hours with your hands up a bird’s butt, 30 trips to the grocery store and all eyes on you, those unpleasant auditory hallucinations are kicking in.

4. And please, whoever brings the candied yams, don’t ask: “How come you didn’t try any?”

Unless you want to hear: “Because it’s orange and has miniature marshmallows in it. I have not seen miniature marshmallows in stores since 1989, so you can understand my concerns.”

5. Don’t ask: “Why don’t we go help mom cleanup?”

Unless you want to hear (and you don’t): “Why because we’re women? Mom may still embrace a hegemonic gender construct, but now that I’m out on my own in college I’m making my own choices.

6. Don’t ask: “Who did you vote for?”

Unless you want to hear the crazy relative say uncomfortably racist things until the table is cleared.

According to the New York Times, Governor Jerry Brown signed a much-needed law making revenge porn illegal in California on October 1st. When laws like this are made, it’s an indicator of just how many people have compromising photos in cyber space. It seems like everyone is sexting, taking naked photos or making sex videos — from politicians like Anthony Weiner to the guy you just met online.

Let’s talk more about this guy: let’s say you meet him on a dating site. He asks you to send him a few additional pictures. There are several shots of you on the dating site, but “what the heck”, right? You send them. His next request is a little steamier. If you send him a more provacative text, it will border on sexting. So the question is this: should you or shouldn’t you sext with this stranger?

Nude photos can be titillating and add a new level of excitement to your sexual interactions. But it might be wise to think first before you get started. You don’t know where those photos or videos could end up or how it would impact your life. As a dating coach for women, I want to offer seven precautions to consider before sharing pictures of your most private parts.

Read 15 Cats Desperately Trying to Pick You Up (In GIFs, Of Course)

1. Don’t sext with men you don’t know.

Make this one of your dating rules — don’t even think about sexting with a man you haven’t met in person yet. What are the chances a new guy will think about anything but getting you in the sack when you play “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”? Hold off until you have gotten to know the guy better, and have been intimate to ensure a certain level of trust. It’s just a smart way to go.

Most dating experts agree sexting is better when you are in a committed relationship and want to keep things exciting and building. You create anticipation for getting together and what might happen in the bedroom or elsewhere.

2. Don’t write a letter.

The point of texting is not to share long-winded, passionate or raunchy thoughts. Texting and sexting should be brief comments. Keep it short to make it easy for both parties to participate and enjoy. When you get a lengthy text, it can get tedious and lose the spontaneity that makes it so much fun.

3. Don’t show anything identifiable.

Unless you don’t mind the risk of having sexually explicit photos with your face online, keep your sexts to small pieces of the puzzle. Even if you feel tempted or want to push outside your comfort zone, think twice. It could mean living through the humiliation of countless men feasting their eyes on you. Sext under the assumption that, at some point, everyone might know. This includes your family, your boss and your future boyfriend. Follow the same rule for that special tattoo or birthmark — anything that makes your parts clearly identifiable should be avoided.

Read the rest over at YourTango!

This post originally appeared on YourTango.com: Sexting? 7 Things You Must Know Before You Hit ‘Send’

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Y’know, there’s such a flurry of dating and relationship advice out there for every situation from “worst online date EVER” to “I’M MADLY IN LOVE AFTER ONE DRINK!” that sometimes it’s helpful to get back to basics. So let’s take a moment to do that, shall we? This handy-dandy (and oh-so-pretty!) infographic from Jessica Baker and Aligned Signs takes us from first impressions all the way to tying the knot with tips, tricks, and useful information.

Happy dating!

Our walking speeds are dictated by more than whether we’re rushing to an appointment or taking a leisurely stroll. Rather, we subconsciously tailor our pace according to our physical features, such as how long our legs are and how much we weigh, in order to minimize energy expenditure. For men, hitting that sweet spot generally means walking faster than women.

But what happens when men and women walk together? In order not to lose each other on the street, someone would have to either slow down or speed up their natural pace. An October 2013 study finds that the adjustment says more about love than mechanics.

Researchers recruited 22 guys and gals of various weights and heights. Some of them were romantically involved, others were just friends. They paired the participants up with either love interests, same-sex friends or different-sex friends, and asked them to casually walk around a track while their speeds were recorded. The researchers also clocked each of those participants walking alone.

Our walking pace, it turns out, says a lot about our relationship with the person we’re walking with, the researchers describe in the journal PLoS One. “Even a simple behavior like walking is mediated by our emotional interactions with the people around us,” senior author Cara Wall-Scheffler, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist with a joint appointment at Seattle Pacific University and the University of Washington, says. She and her co-author, Janelle Wagnild, found that men and women consistently made certain adjustments to their walking patterns depending on context.

Read So You’re On a Date. Who Pays?

When men walked with another male friend, they both tended to walk a little bit faster than they did when alone—perhaps a sign of competition, Wall-Scheffler explains. When walking with a female romantic partner or interest, in contrast, the guys moved “very, very slowly.” They decreased their pace by 6 percent compared to their ideal speed when walking alone—and slowed another percentage point while holding hands. In other words, men chivalrously bear the brunt of the energetic burden to make speed adjustments for their significant other.

Women, on the other hand, tended to walk a bit slower in the company of other women, but they kept about the same pace when walking either alone or with their husband or boyfriend. When women walked with platonic male friends, however, the pair compromised; women slightly quickened their pace to keep up while men slowed down a little.

For ladies seeking to take a platonic relationship to the next level or who suspect a male friend may want to do the same, perhaps putting him to the walking speed test would provide a window into his true feelings. And for those in relationships, take a moment to thank your guy for his energetic sacrifice.

This post originally appeared on YouBeauty.com.

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The doctor is in, ladies and gents! We got the chance to sit down with fitness and health expert Dr. Raj for the ultimate holiday health guide. From the worst possible indulgence to make at parties to why Bon Jovi is essential to a good workout playlist, we’ve got the Q&A you won’t want to miss this holiday season! (Also, isn’t he a cutie? SWOON.)

Overall, what do you find to be the cause for overindulgence during the holiday season?

It’s the concept of “having to eat” during the holidays. In the U.S., Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holidays are within 5-6 weeks of each other, so I think people cram in as much food as possible over a period of two months. New Year’s Eve and having a New Year’s Resolution plays into this as well. People will splurge and eat as much as possible up until NYE, and then plan on dropping the weight in the New Year. Even clothing leads to overindulgence- it’s easier to cover up weight gain in areas where it gets colder, and you have to layer on clothes.

We’re not going to hold back on this one: what is the absolute worst thing to overindulge in at holiday parties?

Sugars and sweets! Wasted calories and simple carbs really just go to fat storage. The appetizers and comfort foods you find at holiday parties are packed with saturated fat. A Swedish meatball can be at least 400 calories of butter, heavy cream, and more! Imagine having 2-3 of these, you have hit your calorie count for the day. Eggnog is also one of my top items NOT to have during the holidays. One cup can have up to 350 calories.

Are there any foods that are more dangerous to consume than they appear in terms of calorie content?

I think a lot of people don’t think about the meats they are eating. For example, pot roast contains a ton of saturated fat; one 3-ounce serving can have around 300 calories and 20 grams of total fat! Prime rib also comes from the fattest part of the cow; it can have up to 750 calories. And for both of these meats, add on mashed potatoes and gravy and that is an insane amount of calories and fat.

How about drinks, especially alcoholic ones?

During the holidays, people drink more than other times in the year. You are around family and friends at events where drinks like eggnog (already on my don’t-drink list) are in abundance. Wine is extremely high in sugar, so as an overall rule of thumb, try to keep your alcohol consumption in moderation- try not to drink more than you normally would. This will also help with avoiding weight gain in the long run. If you still want to have a spirit, skip the cinnamon martini and stick to vodka on the rocks with a twist of lemon- there are fewer calories in it.

What are some of the best holiday dishes to make for everyone that fill you up but don’t leave you sluggish after?

Try serving reduced-fat cheeses, fresh fruits, and nuts for appetizers (my favorites are flavored almonds) over thick fatty dips and meatball dishes. You can make a holiday-themed veggie platter too, which is festive and fun! For meats, choose white meat that is lower in fat, and be careful about how much gravy you use. The same goes for the amount of potatoes you eat. Dessert can be tough- instead of serving cheesecake (which can be up to 700-1000 calories a slice), try pumpkin pie, which is lower in fat and calories. Also, you can serve strawberries which are healthy, and dip them in low-fat chocolate.

More tips from Dr. Raj, including what’s on his ultimate workout playlist, up next!